Fearing Love
by Selenity Jade
Summary: Chapter Three Reposted. A very, very old fic from the late 90s. Usagi has all grown up and returns to visit her friends, the Senshi. She and Mamoru are no longer together, and it leaves a shadow over the group. And now, the end begins.
1. Prologue

Fearing Love  
  
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine. I'm broke, don't sue!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Prologue  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Walking up the long stairs towards the temple, a young blond girl hummed a sad little tune under her breath. Her hair was held in a long ponytail that reached her ankles. She wore a pair of black Jean shorts and a black tank top that clearly showed off her curves. A sad smile upon her beautiful face. Her cerulean blue eyes shown with unshed tears.  
  
When the girl reached the top of the stairs, she quickly made her way to the temple gardens in the back. Turning the corner, she spotted eight young women sitting around the grass.  
  
"Usagi-chan!" one of the younger girls said happily and ran up to give her a hug. The girl's short black hair barely reached her shoulders and her violet eyes shown with happiness.  
  
"Hotaru-chan! It's so nice to see you again," Usagi said with a smile. "You've grown up so beautiful!"  
  
The young woman blushed. "Thanks, Usagi-chan," she said quietly. Then grabbed a hold of the blonde's hands and pulled her towards the others. "Come on!"  
  
Laughing, Usagi followed. Each of the girls jumped up and surrounded her. Hugs and chatter followed shortly after.  
  
"Usagi! It's been so long," a blond woman said with a smile.  
  
"I know. It has been forever, hasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, forever, idiot," a voice said sardonically. Turning towards it, Usagi smiled.  
  
"Sorry, Rei-chan, but life has been busy," she began before being cut off.  
  
"I know, stupid!" Rei said with a smile, ran up to her friend, and hugged her tightly. "I missed you," she whispered.  
  
"Me too, Rei-chan."  
  
"Hey, Usagi-chan! Are you still burning cookies?" a tall brunette asked.  
  
Usagi smiled at that. "No, not anymore. I can cook. Can you believe it, Mako-chan?"  
  
"Not until I see it," the taller girl said with a grin. She then hugged Usagi hard. "Good to see you, Princess."  
  
"Hey, Usagi-chan," a quiet voice said.   
  
Turning towards it, Usagi's smile grew. "Ami-chan! You haven't changed," she said happily.  
  
"You have," the young woman with blue hair said proudly. "You've grown up wonderfully, Usagi-chan."  
  
Blushing, Usagi looked away. "Thank you, Ami-chan."  
  
"Hey, Usa, how you doing?"   
  
Usagi turned towards the blond and her girlfriend. "Hello, Haruka, Michiru. It's going okay. How are you two?"  
  
"We are good, Princess," Michiru answered with a smile and they hugged her.  
  
"Princess."  
  
Usagi looked over at the Guardian of Time with a smile. "Setsuna, you haven't changed have you?"  
  
"Never," she replied. Then she smiled at her friend.  
  
"It's so good to see you all again," Usagi began.  
  
"Hey, where is Mamoru-san?" Rei asked suddenly.  
  
Usagi's face fell immediately. She should have known that they would ask that. She smiled bravely. "He isn't coming," she said sadly.  
  
"What?!" eight voices exclaimed.  
  
"Why not, Usagi-chan?" Minako asked her friend.  
  
Sighing, Usagi gave in to the inevitable. "He and I aren't together, anymore," she said, voice breaking.  
  
"WHAT?!" they all exclaimed again.  
  
"Usagi-chan, what are you talking about? You two are supposed to be together!" Rei said unthinkingly.  
  
"I know, that is what I thought too, but I guess not. He left me seven months ago. Well, I suppose he left me long before that, but it wasn't official until then," she explained.  
  
"What happened, Usagi?" Michiru asked concerned.  
  
Her eyes filled with tears as she explained to her friends what had become of the 'destined' relationship. His distance. His disappearing. His silence. His decision. She told her friends all of this, tears in her eyes, but not one fell.  
  
"That's it. He left. I'm not angry with him, so you guys shouldn't be either. He couldn't handle it, I guess. I don't know. Something happened to him and he left me. It's over. Forever."  
  
"What about Crystal Tokyo, Usa?" Haruka asked.  
  
"What about Chibi-Usa-chan?" Hotaru asked worriedly.  
  
"I'm sorry. I don't know. All I know is he and I are over. I haven't talked to him since that night seven months ago. He's gone. And it's forever. I'm sorry," Usagi said listlessly.  
  
"You gave up? You gave up on the love you two fought for so many times? You gave up on the second chance your mother gave you? How could you, Usagi-chan?" Rei said angrily.  
  
"I didn't give up. I just faced reality. I can never get him back. All it would do would bother him and he deserves to be happy. And I'm not what makes him happy. It's over."  
  
"Usagi..."  
  
~~~  
  
Looking up at the night sky from her balcony, Usagi finally gave in to the tears. They fell from her blue eyes that seemed devoid of life. She hadn't been entirely truthful with her friends earlier. True, she knew it was over and they weren't getting back together, but somewhere deep inside of her, Usagi held on to the hope. The hope that wouldn't die. And that hope was killing her.  
  
If she really lost all hope she could at least move on. But with this damnable hope she couldn't. She kept holding on to her Mamo-chan. And he wasn't her Mamo-chan anymore. And he'll never be hers again. Yet, that hope stayed. That little tiny part of her heart that remembered he loved her. That part that kept on remembering the wonderful memories he gave her. Her soul cried out for him every moment. 'Mamo-chan...'  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Again, this is a repost. ^_^;  
  
Lovies! 


	2. Chapter One: Painful Reunions

Fearing Love  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Chapter One: Painful Reunions  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
"Usagi-chan!" Mina called out, getting her friend's attention. She ran over to her. "Want to go shopping?"  
  
Usagi looked at her friend and smiled. "I'd love to go shopping, Mina-chan. It's been so long since we had a shopping spree. Want to call the others?"  
  
"Yeah! I'll call the girls and have them meet us outside the mall. It'll be just like high school, Usagi-chan!" Mina exclaimed excitedly.  
  
Usagi smiled sadly. "Just like I never left."  
  
Mina's smile faded. "Usagi," she began, "it isn't your fault. You had to do what was right back then. You had to grow into your own person without us. We all understand, Usagi. You didn't need to be protected and coddled. You needed to know your own strengths and weaknesses. You needed to find who you were. We never blamed you and Mamoru for leaving. I knew if an enemy were to arise, you'd be back. And so did the others, Usagi. Don't feel guilty."  
  
She looked into her friend's blue eyes, so much like her own. Usagi sighed. "I'm sorry I left, Mina. I truly am. I know I needed to do it, I just regret the necessity of it."  
  
Mina smiled and hugged her friend. "We still love you, Usagi. No one blames you. Now, let's call the girls!"  
  
~~~  
  
Laughter filled the large apartment. Nine young women sat around the living room. Rei sat on one of the large recliner chairs, a huge mocking smile on her face. Haruka and Michiru sat together in the other recliner, hands intertwined, and grinning like fools. The love seat was stolen by Ami and Minako. The couch held Makoto, Hotaru, and Setsuna. Usagi sat upon the floor besides Rei's recliner.  
  
"That was fun, guys," Usagi said, smiling.  
  
"Of course, Odango Atama!" Rei said.  
  
Usagi stuck her tongue out at her and glared. "Be nice!"  
  
Rei shook her head and laughed. "Nice to you? Never!"  
  
Minako smiled and decided now was as good a time as any to ask what everyone present was dying to know, even if it wasn't a pleasant topic. "Usagi-chan, what happened between you and Mamoru?" she asked softly.  
  
Usagi's eyes dimmed and her smile faded at the question. "Mina, I don't want-"  
  
"We need to know, Usagi-chan," she cut in. "It affects our future as well. You and he were destined to rule. What happened?"  
  
Usagi sighed and pulled her legs to her chest, holding them with her arms. "We left Tokyo and moved to America. At first, everything was fine. Mamo-chan and I were both attending Harvard," she said, ignoring the gasps of her friends. "I was intelligent and got in, attending political science and law courses. I thought I might as well prepare for my future as queen. He and I graduated the top of our class. He recently got a job at a local law firm and I had yet to choose my own place of employment. We moved in together-"  
  
"What!?" Rei exclaimed in shock, cutting off Usagi's explanation. "Usagi! You should have waited until-"  
  
"We had separate rooms, Rei-chan. He wanted to wait until we were married and I did as well. We haven't done anything more than heavy petting." She glared at her friend and continued. "Anyway, about eight months ago, he started getting distant. He stopped talking to me about his day and his life. He came home late every night, long after I was asleep. He kept breaking dates. He stopped telling me he loved me," she whispered sadly. "And he stopped giving me more than a kiss. I think I could have handled him stopping one of those things, but all at once, I was in agony. I asked him about it. He said he just didn't want to get too close too fast. I put up with it for a while; until I found out he was dating other people.   
  
"I asked him one day and he admitted it. He said he still cared for me and I asked him if he still loved me. He didn't deny it, but he didn't tell me. I looked in his eyes and I could see he still loved me. It was there. He needed me, he loved me so much, and yet even that wasn't enough, apparently. I ended it and flew back here."  
  
"I'm sorry, Usagi-chan," Rei said softly, hugging her friend's shoulders.  
  
~~~  
  
Mamoru picked up the large black leather suitcase and turned to his blond companion. "Ready, Motoki?"  
  
The blond man nodded and led his dark-haired counterpart out of the crowded airport. "How do you like being home?"  
  
Mamoru smiled. "I missed Tokyo," he said softly. "America is too different for my tastes."  
  
Motoki laughed. "Yeah, I bet. How's Usagi?"  
  
His smiled faded as the young woman was mentioned, a pained look on his face. "Usagi and I aren't together any longer, Motoki," he whispered.  
  
The blond snapped his head up, looking at Mamoru in surprise. "What happened?"  
  
Shrugging, Mamoru stopped as they reached Motoki's blue dodge pickup. He set his suitcase and pack in the bed of the truck and walked around to the passenger side, getting in after Motoki unlocked it. Waiting until Motoki had gotten in the truck himself, Mamoru studied the dashboard intently. "She and I just didn't work out."  
  
"That's it?" Motoki asked confused. "You two were inseparable! You loved her so much, Mamoru. Why would you let her go?"  
  
The dark-haired man glared at his friend. "I didn't let her go, she left me."  
  
Motoki cocked an eyebrow at him. "What?"  
  
"She gave up on me," he stated dully.  
  
Motoki decided to leave it at that for now. He didn't think his friend was willing to talk about it now. He concentrated on driving to his apartment, only making polite chitchat on the way, his mind still on the breakup of his two dearest friends.  
  
He pulled up at the apartment building for the first time in years. Mamoru had kept up the apartment, knowing he would return to Tokyo and couldn't give it up. They got out of the vehicle and Mamoru grabbed his bags. They headed to the elevator, both silent. It opened and they got in, pushing the right floor and waited for the elevator to reach the correct floor.  
  
It opened with a soft ping and they got off and walked the few doors down to his apartment. Mamoru pushed his key in the door, opening it swiftly and turning on the lights. He dropped his bags on the floor with a thud and looked around the apartment that had been his home so long ago. He smiled. "Home."  
  
Motoki grinned. "Yes. Home. Now let's go see your other home."  
  
Mamoru looked back at his friend curiously. "And that would be?"  
  
"The Arcade, of course," he said, his grin growing.  
  
Mamoru smirked and turned towards him. "Let's go." He pushed Motoki out the door, locking it behind him. They returned to the truck and drove the few blocks to the arcade. Mamoru's grin widened as they pulled in front of it. His gaze traveled over the sign of the Crown Arcade as he got out of Motoki's vehicle. They entered the familiar hangout, the bells jingling at their entrance, and Mamoru looked around curiously. It was like coming home.  
  
Motoki clapped his hand on his friend's back and chuckled. "Don't look so dazed, Mamoru. How about we get a drink?"  
  
Mamoru nodded and they both wandered over to the counter and ordered two sodas from Motoki's sister. "Working for your brother?" Mamoru inquired.  
  
The redhead nodded. "Yup, Mamoru-san. Good to see you."  
  
Motoki grinned. "Get back to work, little sister," he ordered playfully. He turned to Mamoru after his sister scampered off and grinned. "What's America like?"  
  
"Busy-" he began before the door jingling interrupted. He turned to look and paled visibly. 'Usako.' His eyes caught hers and she stopped short. Her face mirrored his inner turmoil.  
  
Motoki turned to look at what captured his friend's attention and gasped. Usagi walked in and her own face looked pale as she beheld her former love and Motoki had a sudden urge to hug her. She looked so horrified and scared. She was hurting and it was obvious, even to Motoki, who hadn't seen her in years. He rose and put on his best 'I'm happy to see you' look, rushing over to her and grabbing her in a big hug. "Usagi-chan!"  
  
She felt tense against him, but she slowly relaxed and hugged him back just as fiercely. "Motoki-kun! How have you been?"  
  
"Good!" He squeezed her once and let her go, holding her away from him. "You look gorgeous, Usagi-chan."  
  
She blushed prettily and smiled. "You don't look half bad yourself, Motoki-kun."  
  
He hugged her again. "I'm sorry about Mamoru and you, Usagi-chan. I don't know what happened, he wouldn't talk about it. I'm here if you need someone," he whispered.  
  
Her eyes clouded and she nodded, not trusting herself to speak. "Thank you, Motoki."  
  
He released her again and smiled. "Would it be too painful to join us?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, I have to deal with it sometime, eh?"  
  
He grinned at her bravery. "Yes, especially being Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon, hmmm?"  
  
She smiled back at him and walked to Mamoru, Motoki's arm draped companionably around her shoulders. Motoki noticed Mamoru's glare at him, either from the close way he held his former girlfriend or bringing her over to him, he didn't know. "Hey, Mamoru! Look who's here."  
  
"Hello, Mamoru," she greeted softly. She smiled at him and sat on the stool beside Motoki's, away from Mamoru's.  
  
"Usagi," he returned just as softly. "How are you?"  
  
"Fine. You?" she inquired awkwardly.  
  
"Good."  
  
Silence followed until Motoki couldn't stand it any longer. "Usagi, what have you been doing with yourself lately?"  
  
She smiled at the blond man. "Nothing much. The girls and I had a shopping spree yesterday. Just catching up with old friends."  
  
"Really? How are the girls? I haven't seen them in quite awhile."  
  
"They're good. Rei-chan runs the Temple now that her grandfather died a year ago. Ami-chan is an intern at Tokyo General Hospital. Makoto-chan is the head chef at the Outback until she can save up to by her own restaurant. Minako is acting in a few movies. Haruka is a professional racer. Michiru plays violin professionally. Hotaru is finishing Medical School. And Setsuna is a famous designer. They are all pretty happy."  
  
Motoki smiled. "That's wonderful! What about you?"  
  
She frowned. "It's a surprise."  
  
He frowned, confused. "Surprise?"  
  
She turned away. "You remember our talk before I left?" she asked softly. Mamoru was straining to hear and Motoki frowned at the strange tone in her voice.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She looked at him, glancing at her former boyfriend for a moment. "Do you remember how I told you I was going to be Queen one day?"  
  
Both men started and stared at the petite woman sharply. "What are you talking about, Usagi?" Mamoru demanded harshly.  
  
She stared at Mamoru. "That is why I came here, Motoki-kun. To warn you," she began without looking away from the dark blue eyes. "I didn't know Mamoru had returned, but I suppose this is for the best. Evil is approaching. It will devastate the world before I can overcome it and ascend. As Queen."  
  
~~~  
  
AN: Yes, Motoki knows about the Sailor Senshi. I just made it easier this way :P. Hope this is good!  
  
Lovies! 


	3. Chapter Two: It Begins

Fearing Love  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon or characters of Sailormoon. I wish I owned Mamo-chan, but sadly, I don't. So, don't sue! I'm seriously broke right now anyway!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Chapter Two: It Begins  
  
It all started out quietly at first. Disappearances, murders, robberies, beatings, and mysterious illnesses increased slowly over the next few months, no one the wiser. The hospitals slowly increased their patients and no one suspected. Morgues began to have more bodies than normal, but no one questioned it. People called in sick more often and for longer periods of time, no one put the facts together. Police reports began piling up gradually; the increase in emergency calls never aroused curiosity. No one noticed but one young woman, fresh out of her teens. She watched the news and the papers religiously every morning as she ate her breakfast, taking in the beatings, robberies, and disappearances. But what could one young woman do when she had no evidence? What could one young woman do against an enemy you couldn't fight? Couldn't see?  
  
Usagi sighed as she folded the newspaper and set it beside her empty plate. She rose from the table and entered her room, reemerging after a good hour, showered and dressed in a simple gray business suit. Her hair pulled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, a few stray tendrils framing her delicate face. She picked up the phone in the kitchen, dialing a number from memory.  
  
"Hello?" a familiar voice answered on the other end.  
  
"Rei? It's Usagi," the young woman said into the receiver, absently playing with the twisted cord.  
  
"Hey, Usagi," the priestess greeted warmly. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing. I have a meeting with a potential employer this morning but after that I'm free and I was wondering if you have plans for lunch. Say around noon?"  
  
"No plans, Odango Atama. Where do you want to meet?"  
  
"Amudeku?"  
  
"The new restaurant downtown?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Sounds fine. Noon?"  
  
"Yes. Thanks, Rei."  
  
"Anytime, Usagi."  
  
~~~  
  
Usagi rubbed her neck tiredly as she sat in the back of the cab. She got the job, as she knew she would, but was feeling a little guilty about going about her life as if nothing was wrong with the world, but her mother had been pushing for it and she wanted her mother off her back.   
  
She blinked as the cab pulled up to Amudeku. She sighed, paid the driver, and exited the car. She entered the large building glancing around to see if her fiery friend had made it there. Spotting Rei after a few moments, she smiled and walked over to her, nodding politely at a waitress on her way.  
  
"Hi, Rei," Usagi greeted as she sat down, opening the menu that was waiting for her.  
  
The dark-haired priestess grinned at her friend. "Usagi, you look very professional."  
  
The blonde laughed. "Scares you?"  
  
Rei nodded earnestly. "No offense, Usa, but it kind of gives me the creeps that you are mature and responsible, and not the ditzy girl we all knew and loved."  
  
"No offense taken, Rei-chan. I was a ditz and a complete klutz. I'm different now and I'm glad."  
  
"Yes, it's a little hard to fight the upcoming apocalypse if you can't even pronounce it." Rei was interrupted by a pretty, dark-haired waitress who came to retrieve their orders and left soon after to get their drinks.  
  
"Yes, that is why I wished to speak with you today, actually. Have you been reading the papers?"  
  
The priestess nodded slowly. "I've been getting this weird evil feeling lately and I can't place it. I've been looking at the newspapers closely to see if I could maybe pinpoint my feelings."  
  
"Notice anything?"  
  
Rei shook her head. "Nothing."  
  
Usagi frowned thoughtfully. "You didn't notice the slow increase in disappearances, murders, beatings, and illnesses?"  
  
Rei gaped at Usagi. Then she too frowned as she thought. "You know, you're right. There has been an increase. That's strange."  
  
"I know. The only thing I can feel is that whatever is happening isn't something the Senshi can fight. It doesn't have a physical body. It's almost as if evil vibes are spreading. You understand?"  
  
Rei thought about it a moment and then grimaced. "That would explain it. How can we stop it though?"  
  
Usagi sighed. "We can't." Just then, the waitress came with their drinks and the two disturbed women sipped them in silence, each mulling over this new bit of information. Each time Usagi thought the information through she could only reach one conclusion: 'we're screwed.'  
  
~~~  
  
Usagi leaned against the rail of her balcony, her hand holding her head up, looking out over the brightly lit city of Tokyo. She had been watching the city for a few hours, just contemplating its fate. She didn't know how to fight pure evil when it didn't even have a corporeal form. She sighed. What could one girl do against an enemy you couldn't see or feel? How was she supposed to overcome this to bring about the future where she reigned as queen? She had thought to use the Crystal, but after a lengthy discussion with Luna, she had come to the very disturbing conclusion that it wouldn't work. The evil couldn't be targeted while it remained outside of a form and she couldn't heal the damage wrought by it, either. Not without getting rid of the evil within the very people themselves. And she couldn't disrupt the balance of good and evil. If only she could find where the evil was leaking from, but it was such a gradual leak that no one could pinpoint a location.  
  
A quiet sound behind her alerted the young woman that she wasn't alone. She tensed and turned around slowly to come face to face with the one person she didn't want to see just now. "What do you want, Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" she asked tiredly, turning around to face the city once more.  
  
He came up beside her, also leaning against the rail, looking out over the city they had protected since they had come into their powers. "Can you feel it?" he inquired, his voice devoid of emotion.  
  
"Yes." She sighed and watched the city silently for a few moments before glancing at him curiously. "What are you doing here?"  
  
He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep with all the tension and 'wrong-ness' going on. I'm attuned with the Earth and it calls to me. Only it doesn't even know why it is doing it."  
  
She slammed her hand on the rail. "Damn it! I should have asked you, I forgot about your powers. Not that it would have done any good if you can't tell me anything, but I should have thought of it!"  
  
He shrugged. "No use beating yourself up over it, Usagi."  
  
Sighing, she leaned out the balcony further. "I suppose you're right. As usual."  
  
They were silent for a few minutes, a comfortable silence and yet not at the same time. Usagi had missed him deeply and being around him like this was soothing and yet not. It was painful and wonderful. She felt whole with his presence there, yet torn knowing that it wasn't the way she wished. They weren't together.  
  
"You've gotten better," he commented sadly.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You've gotten better at blocking the bond. I can hardly feel you most the time and I can't feel what you feel or think any longer."  
  
She shrugged. "I figured it was for the best. That way you were bothered with my emotions."  
  
He looked at her seriously. "I was never bothered by your emotions, Usagi."  
  
"You would have been."  
  
He glanced at her sharply. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't really want to talk about it, Mamoru."  
  
"I want to know why you insist on blocking me so much," he told her.  
  
She turned towards him, her eyes snapping. "Did you really want to feel my soul torn, Mamoru? Did you really want to feel just how much pain I was in?" she demanded angrily.  
  
He looked away from her. "Blocking the bond hurt more than your pain would have," he murmured. "It felt as though I was dying."  
  
"Excuse me," she sneered, "for wanting to keep my pain private!"  
  
"You left me, Usagi," he reminded her.  
  
"No, Mamoru. *You* left me long before *I* made it official." She turned away from him to resume her vigilance over the city.  
  
"I'm sorry, Usako," he whispered, using the beloved name she had so missed and despised at the same time.  
  
She snarled, turned towards him, and slapped him. "Damn you! Don't ever call me that! I am not yours any longer!"  
  
He looked at her, his eyes betraying the agony he felt these past months. "Usako, I never meant to hurt you. I got scared and I tried to push you away."  
  
"Well, that makes it all better than," she said sarcastically.  
  
"No. It doesn't make it better, Usako. I'm trying to make you understand why I did it. So you can stop hating me."  
  
"I never hated you," she said quietly.  
  
He looked down into her cerulean eyes. "You didn't hate me?"  
  
She shook her head and looked away from his intense gaze. "No. I can't hate you, Mamoru. You are my soul."  
  
He reached down and lifted her chin to look at him. "I'm sorry, Usako, for the pain I put you through. I always felt I wasn't good enough for you. I felt you always deserved so much better than me. I am nothing. I have no past, no family, nothing to offer you, I tried to push you away, and yet I tried to keep you at the same time. I was confused and scared, and did the only thing I thought would help."  
  
She ran her finger over his cheek softly and turned away. "I didn't want what you could offer me, Mamoru. I wanted the man I fell in love with. I wanted you, damn it. I wanted the Prince of Earth and the man I grew up to love with all my being. I didn't care about your past or your lack of a family. I was your family. You didn't trust me, Mamoru. Please," she whimpered, "just go."  
  
He watched her back sadly for a few moments, conflict evident in his midnight eyes, before he turned and leapt to the roof, disappearing into the night.  
  
~~~  
  
Usagi stretched sleepily and yawned. She got out of her large comfortable bed slowly, walking towards the bathroom groggily. She emerged a half hour later, clean, wet, and wide-awake. She flipped on the stereo, humming softly along with the rock song that was on, and proceeded to get dressed and fix her hair and make-up.  
  
Just as she was checking over her appearance in the mirror, the phone rang beside her bed. She glanced at the alarm clock, frowning when she saw how early it was. 'Who would be calling me at six in the morning?'   
  
"Hello?" she answered.  
  
"Usako! Did you read the paper yet?" Mamoru's frantic voice came to her.  
  
"No, not yet. Why?" she asked worriedly.  
  
"Get it," he ordered, his voice strained.  
  
She frowned. "Hold on." She walked out to open her front door, retrieving the newspaper that lay there. She started to open it as she walked back to the phone. She dropped to her knees as her gaze fell upon the headline.   
  
"Oh, gods," she whispered in despair.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: *evil grin* I know, evil cliffhanger! Sorry! Well, not REALLY sorry...but still. ^_^  
  
Thanks to Guardian Neptune, ni9htdreame12, IcyButterflyKiss, moonlightrose8o8, Faraday, Veronica, darrien_4_serena, Marni (I recognize your name, you did read it before I'm sure, and it never ended. ^_^; I am this time), kriztel, Silver Moonlight-81, AniJap, and lastly... a sort of 'thank you' to Shadow Cub:  
  
Thank you for the laugh. It completely amazes me the stupidity that abounds the fanfiction community by readers who don't leave email address or screennames and have to think they're better than some of us who actually work on writing our emotions, or improving said writing skills. Sorry to burst your bubble, dingbat, but you're *not* better than I am, since you probably don't even write anything to begin with. And your *two* comments on my fics leave me wondering if you're just a moron reading fics in a fandom you hate. If you hate the Usa/Mamoru pairing, go elsewhere! And two, you *must* be brain damaged to jump to the conclusion YOU did. Before you jump to conclusions about ANY story, get your damned facts straight. The first BIG one being is USAGI LEFT MAMORU IN THIS STORY! HE did not leave her, he was TREATING her badly, she left HIM, and is NOT begging or hoping they'll get back together. She does in fact STATE "It's over, guys" in that first chapter. Meaning SHE is accepting that, and that's that. For shit's sake, grow up, take your pre-teen angst out on someone else, and leave me and mine alone. You want to be a jackass, that's your purgative, but do it constructively, and stop wasting everyone's time with 'flames' that don't even have their FACTS STRAIGHT! I really hate people who feel the need to purposely cut people down so they can feel better about their poor little selves.  
  
And to the rest of you, sorry about that. Of course, I have no email or screen name or anything to respond to this reviewer, and he or she probably won't be back. *shrugs* If you happen to know him or her, point them in this direction so he/she can see what a stupidity it is to use non-constructive flaming. Especially non-constructive flaming that doesn't even make sense with the story.  
  
Lovies! 


	4. Chapter Three: Not the Children

Fearing Love  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon or characters of Sailormoon. So, don't sue! I'm seriously broke right now anyway!  
  
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)  
  
Chapter Three: Not the Children  
  
"Usako? Usako!" Mamoru's voice called from the dropped receiver that lay beside the devastated blonde.  
  
She blinked back tears and gently picked up the phone, placing it against her ear. "I'm here," she whispered softly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Usako," he told her tenderly from the other end. "Do you want me to come over?"  
  
She shook her head before she remembered he couldn't see her. "Could you call the rest of the Senshi, please?" she asked.  
  
"Of course. Do you want to have a meeting?"  
  
She sighed. "I suppose that is best," she muttered. "Call a meeting and tell them to meet at my apartment at four, okay? I have to work."  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked worriedly. "I should have come over to tell you, I'm sorry I didn't think-"  
  
"It's fine," she told him. "Either way, it would have still hurt. I'm sorry, but I've got to go."  
  
"Okay, Usako. Am I invited to the meeting?" he asked nervously; he was afraid she'd tell him no, that he wasn't wanted or needed.  
  
"Yes. We need all the help we can get. Someone is going to pay..."  
  
"Usako..."  
  
"Don't. No one kills children, *babies*, and gets away with it. Every enemy we've faced stole energy and while there were casualties, no one has ever gone and murdered every child in this city!"   
  
She began to weep. "Every baby gone," she whispered. "Mamo-chan, who would do such a thing?"  
  
"I don't know, Usako, I just don't know."  
  
~~~  
  
Usagi looked over the assembled Senshi, glancing quickly at the only male in the room, blinking in surprise when she saw him smiling at her, reassuring her, letting her know he was there and believed in her. Just like he used to.  
  
She cleared her throat, catching the group's attention quickly. "I assume you've all read today's paper?" she asked softly, hoping she wouldn't have to repeat what it had said.  
  
Makoto and Minako nodded, looking away. Rei scowled angrily. Mercury swallowed and nodded as well. Haruka snarled faintly but also indicated she saw it. Michiru glanced into Usagi's eyes, nodding also. Setsuna looked away, and Usagi figured she knew this would happen ahead of time. She should have been angry, but she wasn't. She had glimpsed the pain and guilt in her eyes when she had arrived. She couldn't be angry with her, not when she had such a burden in knowing something so horrible would happen and she couldn't do anything about it. Hotaru openly wept, hugging herself tightly and rocking slightly back and forth. She felt sorry for the younger Senshi. She had so much on her young shoulders also and Usagi knew the Senshi of Silence hurt for those little children who had barely begun to live. The young healer was unable to distance herself from the pain of others sometimes. Mamoru just continued to watch her.  
  
Usagi sat down on the couch, looking at each of the Senshi in turn. "I received a call today," she began, glancing guiltily at her former boyfriend. "The Sailor Starlights are here."  
  
Setsuna nodded knowingly, while the rest started in surprise. Mamoru's eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't betray anything else.  
  
"It seems they too know what is coming and have offered their assistance. Actually, they should be here in about fifteen minutes." She looked away from Mamoru's deep blue eyes. "I invited them to the meeting."  
  
Setsuna smiled faintly. "Of course, Princess. That's a good idea. They may not be a part of our Senshi, but their assistance might be very useful."  
  
Usagi sighed. "There is more to it than that, I'm afraid. It seems their new world has perished due to what we are experiencing. They returned here to stay, only to find ours is going through the same thing."  
  
The Time Guardian again nodded. "That has been foretold."  
  
The blonde frowned. "I figured most of this was, Setsuna. It doesn't make me hate it any less."  
  
"I didn't think it would," the wise Senshi told her.  
  
Usagi rose from her seat and paced in front of her fellow Senshi. "When they get here, we'll talk about this big mess. Until then, anyone else have something that has happened we should know?"  
  
Each Senshi shook their heads and Usagi turned to Mamoru. "How about you?"  
  
He looked away from her. "Not really. I have the feelings of the Earth, but she doesn't tell me much. Just that she hurts and needs our help."  
  
"I see," Usagi said thoughtfully. "Well, let's just wait until Seiya and the rest get here."  
  
~~~  
  
Usagi sighed tiredly as she watched the Senshi and Starlights leave her apartment. In the end, the reunion had been a very depressing one. Gone were the squeals of joy the Inners would have displayed upon seeing them. And the meeting had been pointless. The Starlights knew nothing the Senshi didn't already know and could add nothing knew.  
  
She glanced up in surprise when she found herself alone with Seiya and Mamoru. She blinked at Seiya in confusion. "Hey," she said.  
  
"Hey, yourself, Odango. I just wanted to ask if you were okay."  
  
She nodded. "As okay as ever, I suppose."  
  
"We'll make them pay."  
  
"Yes," she said firmly, "we will."  
  
~~~  
  
Usagi sat down beside Mamoru on the couch, after having put on her bunny pajamas. She felt somewhat childish wearing the things, but she still liked rabbits, even after all these years. She stared at the wall, blinking back her tears. It was always harder at night, she decided. At night, she felt the pain of her failures more deeply when she was busy rushing around during the day. She sighed softly.  
  
"Usako? Are you okay?" Mamoru's soft tenor asked her.  
  
She shook her head. "They were just babies," she told him quietly.  
  
He hesitantly put his arm around her and when she didn't resist, pulled her into his lap. He brushed his fingers through her hair soothingly. "I know," he murmured.  
  
"What am I going to do, Mamo-chan? How can I fight something that doesn't have a body? How can I fight something you can't see? Or even feel?"  
  
He shook his head and buried his head into her hair, breathing deeply. "I don't know, Usako, but together, we'll think of something. I promise."  
  
"I can't be sure of you anymore," she whispered painfully.  
  
He flinched. "Yes, you can. Whether we are together or not, I will *always* be here for you, Usako. Always."  
  
"Seiya being here bothers you, doesn't it?"  
  
He nodded reluctantly.  
  
She giggled softly. "I'm not even yours now and you're still jealous."  
  
He tightened his grip on her minutely. "In my heart, in my soul, you are always mine," he whispered faintly.  
  
~~~  
  
AN: I would like to thank Cat's Meow for giving me an idea with her review a LONG time ago... even though she would have liked a Usa/Seiya coupling here, which I'm not going to do (I'm a Usa/Mamo fan... *sigh*), her review reminded me that adding Seiya would make things interesting! Sorry, girl, but I added him for ya, even if I won't make them a couple!  
  
Lovies! 


End file.
